It has been a long time since I have seen such a pointless, empty, heartless disaster of a movie. “Morbius” sucks. See it if you want to laugh at the movie’s stupidity uncontrollably, but not for any other reason.  

Alright, enough ranting. “Morbius” is based on a lesser-known character within the Marvel Comics canon. Attempts at making a “Morbius” film have been carried out sporadically over the past two decades, and this iteration finally took shape in 2019, just before the COVID-19 lockdown. 

Films which suffer from a long development period often end up being not so great. That lengthy period of development often shows that the story probably doesn’t have a strong enough concept to create a decent film out of. Morbius is a prime example of this theory. 

Jared Leto stars as Dr. Michael Morbius, a scientist who suffers from a disease that weakens his mobility. He is sent as a young kid to a hospital in Greece, where he meets his lifelong friend Milo, or Lucian. For some reason, this film gives this best friend character two names and never fully explains why they choose which name to use where.  

Much like the name confusion, much of this film’s plot is confusing and misguided. There is something resembling a narrative for the majority of the film’s one hour and forty-four-minute runtime, but it doesn’t follow the traditional trope of making an audience care. Morbius is such an empty character, and the film’s writers rely solely on his illness to gather sympathy. He is an emotionally flat character, and the film is so poorly written that you feel completely unaffected when you walked out.  

The only reason I had a good time watching this movie is because it was fun to have a shared experience with friends that was this memorable. Rarely is a movie so profoundly dumb as “Morbius,” so if nothing else, you won’t forget it for a while, even if you want to.